It’s OK Because You Said It in an Accent, part 1

Australia is backpackerlandia. Seriously, I have met more people from England, Sweden, and Germany each than I have Australians. Interacting with people with accents can be quite entertaining, especially when English is not their first language. Sometimes they say things that might be considered rude or inappropriate; other times, they just don't know how to phrase it; and yet other times, it just sounds funny with an accent. The following stories are courtesy of Stefan, a German backpacker I met at the lovely On the Wallaby lodge in Yungaburra, Queensland, Australia.

Trying to get my attention, Stefan started poking my arm…hard. I gave him a look that said WTF? Forgetting what he was going to say but continuing to poke my arm not quite as hard, he confusedly asked, "Are you easy?" 
"I don't think that's the question you want to ask."

"Are you easy? Bruises?" 
Oh, gotcha. "Do you bruise easily?" 

As I pulled my bangs back with a barrette, I got a quizzical look from Stefan. 
"What are you doing?"
"Getting my hair out of my face."
"Why?"
"Because it bothers me when it touches my face."
"I was thinking of shaving my head. Maybe you should, too. Then you won't have hair in your face."
"But I feel like if I shaved my head, I would look like a lesbian."
"Are you a lesbian?"
"No."
"Then keep your hair the way it is." 

There was a large group of college students that were checking into the hostel, and Stefan asserted that it was probably illegal for him to sleep with any of them. He was moving rooms, and the CFL in the new room was dim. I suggested it was mood lighting. He agreed and said he would just lay naked and let the girls come to him. However, they would have to pay first. “It works for girls, so it must work for guys.” 

But it all sounds so much better in an accent.